Mar 14, 2019

Any day now

the ambush style visit alerting me of my grand prize should happen sometime between tomorrow and march 25th. in preparation i will be wearing my property brothers tee every day until then. when historians look back upon this blog i will be lauded as a genius.

Feb 18, 2019

Fín

well, that's it folks.

106 entries
53 days
13 sponsors
5 bedrooms
3.5 bathrooms
2 forms
1 dream

i've done my part. it's now up to Scripps to declare me the winner.

the drawing will take place on or about february 28th. following that, i will be contacted by either phone, email, in writing, or in person via an "ambush style" visit by Scripps representatives sometime between march 15 and march 25. it has been a wonderful journey, and i'm excited to witness the rest as it unfolds.

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total entries: 106
days until ambush: 25-35

Feb 17, 2019

Which HGTV Dream Home 2019 Room Are You?

I would rather read a book about..



My ideal car is...



How often do you exercise?



Your kitchen sink breaks. What do you do?



You're at a party and it's 3am. It's dwindling down but there are still a handful of people awake. Do you:



With my free time after work, I would rather:



When it comes to immigration at our southern border, I think:



Your favorite color palette consists of:



I think bunk beds are...



You're pulled over on your way home from dinner. You had 5 drinks while you were out. What do you tell the officer when he asks if you've been drinking?



If I were an animal, I'd rather be:



Delta Shield Spray technology is:



My preferred date is:



After Robert Baratheon's death in season 1 of Game of Thrones, the rightful heir to the throne was:



The right amount of pillows to have on a bed is:



My opinion on cowboy hats is:



You got...


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total entries: 104

Feb 16, 2019

Feb 15, 2019

Reflections

today i submitted my 100th entry for the HGTV Dream Home 2019. what a journey it has been. it's wild to think about how i've entered this sweepstakes more times than i've brushed my teeth in 2019. i also can't believe it was 50 days ago when i threw my hat into the ring for the first time. it seems like these months have come and gone with the blink of an eye, but such is the way life goes as we get older.

doing anything for fifty days straight is not easy. after a certain amount of time it transforms from a mere task that needs to be completed each day, to something more concrete. it becomes a part of your life. it defines you. but that's not to say it gets easy. it drains me sometimes to sit in front of this screen, day after day, and post about the rustic retreat in whitefish montana. but i have an obligation to my readers to create content. this is the life i've chosen for myself for the time being.

during these days i have become become intimately familiar the Home, as one would with any subject they devote daily, unceasing attention to. i've imagined myself basking in the cedar hot tub, watching movies in the great room once i replace the moose head with a television, reading a book in the lodge room, sleeping off a hangover in the master bedroom. i've thought about what items would go in each drawer in the bathroom vanity. i've considered how i'll arrange my clothes in the walk-in closet. come march, i know i'll be announced as the winner because the house is already mine.

i will leave you with a passage from the novel a naked singularity by sergio de la plava.

"What happens when two people become friends Casi? I say that at least a part of what happens is that the two people become more real to each other. In a sense each feels that the other has become more of a human being. Anyone would agree with that but how does this happen? How does someone go from being a collection of flesh and bone who generally occupies the same space as us to being a real person who has an inner life that we, on some level, care about. Well I think the principal way this happens is through speech and language. After all, we can see the same person every day for years but if we've never heard them speak I maintain that if properly confronted we'd be hard-pressed to even think of them as human and we certainly wouldn't consider them friends. That sounds odd I know, but have you ever been in a room full of complete strangers who weren't talking? Did you ever then have a fleeting thought or feeling that maybe they didn't really exist at all the way you exist? On the other hand, people actualize through speaking. Actors know this. How many lines? they ask when considering a part, not how much face time. Hostages talk to their tormenters in the hopes of becoming more human and therefore harder to kill. These people seem to realize that the more we hear someone talk in a variety of situations the closer we become to them, the more real they become to us. Their speaking makes is harder to ignore their status as actual people with inner lives like ours. So why is that? The answer is probably obvious but I don't know what it is. Nevertheless, and more importantly, I'm going to make this happen in the context of The Honeymooners. Sure I've seen all these episodes before but half-hours at a time and diffused among all this other stimuli. This time, however, I'm going to be running these episodes in a constant loop. I won't move a muscle while they play. There will be no commercials. The result is that over time Ralph Kramden and to a lesser extent the others will begin to seem, no, will in fact become, more and more real."


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total entries: 100

Feb 14, 2019

Checking out the local bar scene

i searched for 'whitefish montana bars' and combed through some of the results on google. i wanted to get a feel for what the bars in my new city will be like. below are couple of the ones i looked at.

The Bierstube


looks like a pretty cool dive bar. it's up on the mountain, so it's closer to the house and it's accessible from some of the trails. they've got a neon pabst sign, a pool table, and a bunch of local beers on tap. it closes at 10pm though, so this seems like more of a place to grab a pint or two after you finish snowboarding than one you would go out to.



Great Northerner Bar & Grill

 

in the heart of the city we have the great northerner, which is described as a "classic bar hung with vintage signs [that] offers live music, burgers & a summer deck." i think covering your walls with something 'unique' is kind of a tired bar trope, but i'm not willing to write it off just yet.

the bar was opened in 1919, by a presumably racist owner, to serve as a local tavern for the railroad workers and passengers. some cool things about this place are:
  • $1 pbr cans on wednesdays
  • they don't allow children after 9pm
  • shuffleboard tables
  • bruce springsteen once played there 



Bulldog Saloon


what's a cowboy without a saloon. i could see myself grabbing my gun, throwing on my hat and spurs, and riding my honda pilot down there for five or six drinks before driving home. it's okay for me to do that because of the lane keeping assist system.

the pitchers look pretty massive. you can also pay for drinks with canadian at the same menu price which is neat. maybe i could profit off that somehow.



Casey's



named after famous child murderer casey anthony, casey's is a "woodsy-chic haunt in a 1905 building with pub grub & a rooftop bar, plus a dance floor & live music." i don't like when places are described as 'haunts'. it's too spooky. anyway, this definitely one of the more up-scale bars in whitefish. i took a look at their menu and it ranges from a $12 classic burger to a $25 new york strip.

i really like the rooftop seating/bar. it looks like this is the place to go for music and dancing. it's probably the closest thing to the bars/clubs here in dc. i am slightly puzzled by a few of their upcoming events though. on may 2nd they have something called 'HUNKS The Show'.


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total entries: 98

Feb 13, 2019

The Chess Board


what is going on with the chess board?

what kind of configuration is that?

are they even centered on tiles?

was this the result of a real game?


why do the pieces look like little boys?

where are the rest of the pieces?

did brian patrick flynn play a game with the photographer?

has he ever even played chess?


do you have to sit on the floor to play on these tables?

do they make tiny little chairs for these tiny tables?

are you supposed to sit on the pillows?

who is the old man in the photo?

why do the pieces look like little boys?

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total entries: 96

Feb 12, 2019

Rounding Third

i sit down at my chair and slowly open up my laptop. the screen is cluttered with windows from my work the previous day. i close everything. i glide the mouse across the table until its pointer is hovering over the google chrome application. i click.

google chrome launches and opens up both the hgtv and diynetwork websites. i expect this to happen because i told it to do so. before i'm ready to submit my entries i decide i need some coffee. i rise and walk over to to carafe to fill my mug. on the way back i stop to exchange pleasantries with a co-worker. during these pleasantries i am thinking about getting my two entries in on hgtv and diynetwork.

i return to my desk and resume my task. i start with hgtv out of habit, but sometimes i will do diynetwork first. it is calming, these 20 seconds it takes to enter. during this brief period of time i am free from the gnawing ennui of modern life. it is a private exchange between myself and the scripps network, where i pledge my desire to win the HGTV Dream Home 2019. it's only once i realize how few times i have left to do this that a deep sadness washes over me.

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total entries: 94

Feb 11, 2019

Room Review: Kichen

The kitchen, often referred to as the 'heart of the home', is the room i'm setting my sights on tonight.


at first glance, i think it's a good looking space. i dig the color scheme and appreciate all the seating room around the island. i think 'hanging out' in kitchens is fun and important. let's go through some of the highlights.

the sink


the Dream Home kitchen boats a 'large user-friendly' sink, which is music to my god damn ears. i absolutely loathe when i use the sink at friend's house and find that it's not user-friendly. unfortunately, the faucet here isn't equipped with the delta shield spray technology, so i may look into getting it replaced.

the window


above the sink is a grand accordion-style window that opens up to the deck bar. i like this idea but have one concern with it. is it gonna be spooky? what if i'm down there at night washing a plate and i see something that frightens me? i've watched enough scary movies to know that this would be the window for something like that to happen, and i would hate to be too scared to use my kitchen after dark.

the pantry


so here's something that's been bugging me. they have a picture of the pantry door but not one of what's behind it (i.e. the pantry). why? what are they hiding about the pantry? if it indeed does include 'custom shelving for efficient storage of dry goods and extra household supplies,' then let's see it. show, don't tell, bb.

the fridge


look at this mother fucker. i bet you could fit a thousand beers in there.

the range


six burners. two ovens. one electric griddle. one electric grill. 60-inch wide stainless chimney wall hood. dimmable LED lighting. pretty cool.

i don't have time to go over them all, but this kitchen boasts a star-studded cast of appliances with a sleek look and plenty of counter space. definitely one of my favorite rooms.

room rating: 8.2

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total entries: 92

Feb 10, 2019

The Game

everyone is given a 40oz of hurricane (or steel reserve, if there is no hurricane) purchased from the conoco gas station down the road.. everyone then goes into a separate room and shuts the door. the master bedroom is reserved for me but any other doored room is fair game. only once you finish your 40 may you leave your room and reconvene in the great room. the last one to finish doesn’t get to go skiing.

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total entries: 90

Feb 9, 2019

Untitled II

hey man, come on in

can i get you anything? water? beer? a pabst perhaps?

sure thing. make yourself at home. we're just hanging out on in the great room

how was the drive brother? these mountain roads can get pretty rough

oh yeah i'm sure. luckily my pilot has all-wheel drive.

did you bring your suit? we were thinking of firing up the hot tub later

bummer. well you can borrow one of mine if you need

yeah i'm all settled in now. still have a couple boxes in the lodge room but that's it

hey man let me show you something actually, follow me

yeah i don't know why they put so many pillows on the bunk bed. it's ridiculous.

alright, back there. behind the table by the peloton.

the first interstate bank on spokane avenue. monday morning. nothing big, just cash from the registers. in and out in 2 minutes.

does it look like i'm kidding?

we need you to drive. you gotta to make a decision right now. what do you say?

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total entries: 88

Feb 8, 2019

Since The World's Been Turning



rocket mortgage, simply safe, sleep number, forty eight,
delta faucet, cabot pavers, sherwin williams

hgtv, timber forge, soaring ceiling, french doors,
modern tiles, rustic style, brian patrick flynn

cowboy hats, pet nook, natural light, shitty books
wood floors, aspen trees, gorgeous double vanity

honda pilot, bunk beds, locally-made moose head
second sink, linen cabinets, multi-purpose island

i'm gonna win the dream home
it was always destined
to be my possession
i'm gonna win the dream home
or my smith & wesson
will teach scripps a lesson

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total entries: 86

Feb 7, 2019

Brian Patrick Flynn: Friend or Foe?

sat down today to try and figure out my sentiments towards BPF. gonna have to sleep on it.



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total entries: 84

Feb 6, 2019

(iii)

today i took a visit to the rules page for the sweepstakes and read it start to finish. however, before i even finished the first paragraph i made a shocking discovery. to understand this, first we need to go back to september of 2018.

during the off season, hgtv and diy network host a couple of other sweepstakes. these are the HGTV Smart Home and the DIY Network Ultimate Retreat Giveaway.  i enter these to 'get my fix' while waiting for the Dream Home sweepstakes to return. anyway, similar to what i did today, i read through the rules for the ultimate retreat giveaway and noticed something in the 'how to enter' section. here's the paragraph from that page, with the important part highlighted:

How to Enter: Beginning at 9:00 a.m. Eastern Time (“ET”) on August 6, 2018 until 5:00 p.m. ET on September 26, 2018 (the “Sweepstakes Period”), you may enter the DIY Network (“DIY Network”) – DIY Network Ultimate Retreat Giveaway 2018 sweepstakes (the “Sweepstakes”) in any of the following ways: (i) online, by visiting the DIY Network website (www.diynetwork.com) (the “DIY Network Website”) and completing and submitting the online entry form (limit one (1) online entry, per valid email address, per eligible person per day For purposes of this Promotion, a “day” begins at 12:00 a.m. ET and ends at 11:59 p.m. ET unless specified otherwise); (ii) online, by visiting the HGTV website (www.HGTV.com) (the “HGTV Website” and collectively with the DIY Network Website, the “Websites”) and completing and submitting the online entry form (limit one (1) online entry, per valid email address, per eligible person per day); and/or (iii) by mail, by hand printing your name, complete address, phone number (including area code) and date of birth either on a postcard or on a separate piece of paper no larger than 8½ x 11 inches, and mailing the postcard or paper in an envelope with the proper postage affixed to: “DIY Network Ultimate Retreat Giveaway 2018, PO Box 52226 Knoxville, TN 37950”. Entrants using US mail may enter as often as they wish. Mail-in entries must be postmarked by September 26, 2018 and received by October 3, 2018. Limit one (1) entry per stamped envelope. Mechanically reproduced or pre-printed mailing labels or entries generated by script, macro or other automated or mechanical means and entries by any means which subvert the entry process will not be accepted. Mechanical stamping machines are acceptable. Incorrect, illegible, corrupt, and incomplete entries are void. These official rules are also available at the Websites or by writing to DIY Network Ultimate Retreat Giveaway 2018 - Rules Request, PO Box 52151, Knoxville, TN 37950.
entrants using US mail may enter as often as they wish. could that be true? a potential for unlimited entries? i reached out to diy network to confirm this with them. here's the response email i received:




so it was true. unlimited mail-in entries. i wasn't sure what to do with this knowledge, but i held on to it and waited for the next Dream Home sweepstakes.

back to the present. i peek at the rules for the Dream Home 2019 and.... no mention of a mail-in option. just the two online entry forms. surely this wasn't because of my inquiry. it must have never existed for the Dream Home. perhaps there's a difference in rules between the sweepstakes hosted by diy network vs. hgtv. or maybe it's just more relaxed for the ultimate retreat. these were the rationalizations that swept through me. just to be sure, i pulled up rules page for the 2018 Dream Home sweepstakes using the wayback machine. and right there, below options (i) and (ii), was the mail-in option.



what gives, scripps?

where is the mail-in option?

why was it removed?

we want answers.

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total entries: 82

Feb 5, 2019

What Is a Dream?

what is a dream? from a multitude of possible alternatives, the HGTV Dream Home has chosen this word to brand itself with. what does this say about the image it wants to portray? what sets the Dream Home apart from the other sweepstakes houses like the Smart Home or the Ultimate Getaway?

the word 'dream' carries with it a powerful connotation in this country. 'the american dream' of course is the ethos that, among other things, through hard work and perseverance, an individual can pull themselves up from their bootstraps and be met with prosperity and success. the idea that regardless of one's starting point, opportunity lies ahead. social mobility, home ownership, and financial freedom all await the determined individual. could you say the Dream Home embodies the full spirit of the american dream? not quite. to do so would be akin to equating the american dream with the mega millions.

the Dream Home presents a different version of a dream. it exhibits not the prospect of success or opportunity for achievement. it circumvents that and instead dangles in front of its beneficiary's eyes the crop that is reaped from the seeds planted by the american dream.

so what is a dream? a dream is a 4-bedroom 3.5-bathroom mountain home in whitefish montana, and it's all mine.

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total entries: 80

Feb 4, 2019

Dream Home Time-Lapse

i took the time-lapse photos from the hgtv website and made them into gifs. i have to set an alarm on my phone when i look at them cause last time i got stuck staring at my monitor for an hour.

front



back



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total entries: 78

Feb 3, 2019

Thought Experiment

imagine if you will, the following:

you enter the sweepstakes on hgtv.com

you click the 'enter again on diynetwork.com' link

you enter the sweepstakes on diynetwork.com

you click the 'enter again on hgtv.com' link

you enter the sweepstakes on hgtv.com

you click the 'enter again on 'diynetwork.com' link

you enter the sweepstakes on diynetwork.com

you click the 'enter again on hgtv.com' link

you enter the sweepstakes on hgtv.com

you click the 'enter again on 'diynetwork.com' link

you enter the sweepstakes on diynetwork.com

you click the 'enter again on hgtv.com' link

you enter the sweepstakes on hgtv.com

you click the 'enter again on 'diynetwork.com' link

you enter the sweepstakes on diynetwork.com

ad infinitum.

it's beautiful isn't it?

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total entries: 76

Feb 2, 2019

Inconsistencies and Discontinuity in the Dream Home

spurred by a discovery in this post, i thought it would be interesting to bring to light some of the inconsistencies and continuity errors in the HGTV Dream Home photo galleries.


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total entries: 74